I must be close

So I've been involved in doing research for awhile now. And I've noticed a trend for when I am on the verge of completing a project. (Holds true for conference presentations, papers, or any of the three theses I've written.) The trend is this: right before I finish it, there's a moment of total crisis when it seems like all of my results are completely falling apart. (Sometimes the crisis lasts for days, sometimes it lasts for hours.) Nothing makes sense and nothing seems to come together. It makes me worry that my presentation/paper/thesis will be delayed or worse, wrong. And that I'm the worst astronomer ever.

I've almost come to expect this crisis moment. In fact, it's sort of like a signpost that the end must be near. But in that moment, I always feel like "this time" things won't work out. "This time" the crisis will result in me being crowned the worst astronomer ever.

Okay, so that said, I've been working on this one "side" project for the past year and a half. This is longer than my boss and I expected it to take. But I feel like I've taken a project that was a pretty straight forward paper and turned it into something more interesting than just a data dump paper. ("Look! Data!" is now "Look! Science!")

So I've been waiting on some collaborators to get me some things I need to really knock it out of the park. But we're getting impatient. (Because we can still hit a home run without it.) My boss is getting anxious for me to get it out the door so I can work on other things. (And I am too.)

The deadline I set for the collaborators is tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going to submit it, with or without the extra frosting on the cake.

Though, as it turns out, I'm not entirely finished with it.... Last week I was polishing it a bit and re-checking/refining some of my more important calculations. None of them were working! "How did I get those numbers before?! Why can't I reproduce what I *thought* I got before! I updated a few things, so I need the new numbers, but they shouldn't be *that* different than the old ones!"

I ran the calculations a bunch of times. They kept coming out way off. This was the moment for this paper when it looked like everything was falling apart. I felt slightly panicky. "Sure, things worked out in the past...but THIS moment of crisis...how am I EVER going to salvage this mess in time?!"

This was especially nerve wracking since I've committed to submit the paper tomorrow. So I'm up late tonight making sure everything is ready. I looked at those numbers again. The numbers that were making everything fall apart earlier this week.

Lo and behold. I found my mistake. Everything is working again.

This is a relief!

It must mean that the paper is ready to go.

But seriously. The trend continues to holds up. Why can't I just do everything perfect every time? That would be nice!

Commentary on Ezekiel 47

I know this post is a little different from the theme of my normal posts, but I couldn't let this go by without jotting down some of my thoughts. And I think some of my readers will enjoy reading this. It was too cool to pass over.

In my church, we don't have a paid clergy, so each member of the ward (local congregation) has a specific job (or more than one job). One of my jobs is to periodically teach the adult Sunday School class. This year we're studying the Old Testament. I taught today's lesson which covered Ezekiel 43-44 and 47. It was an interesting coincidence because as I was celebrating Thanksgiving with one of my good friends and her family up on Long Island, it was discovered that she had taught the same lesson in her ward last Sunday, that her brother was teaching it there that Sunday, and I was also teaching it down in Baltimore.

I'm pretty sure that I've read these passages in Ezekiel before, but I don't remember them. Nor do I remember them being so awesome.

The premise is that Ezekiel, who was a prophet in ancient Israel, had a vision of the temple in Jerusalem. By reading a variety of verses in Chapters 43 and 44, we gain insight into various aspects of the temple. (Including it being the house of the Lord, its holy nature, the very grounds being holy, worthiness requirements to enter, etc.) The really meaty stuff is in Chapter 47. This vision blows my mind.

First though, it's important to understand the geography of the region of this part of the world. Here's a basic map of the area:

The Sea of Galilee (the top, smaller lake) is a fresh water lake. The Jordan River flows out of it, and into the Dead Sea (the bottom, larger lake). The Dead Sea is the lowest point of dry land on the planet earth, about 1300 feet below sea level. Water does not flow out of the Dead Sea, and as water from it evaporates, it leaves the salt and other minerals behind, so it just gets saltier with time. It's a crazy cool place, and geologically very interesting. In fact, due to the high salt content of the water, it is much more dense than fresh water, and so people can actually float in it. I can attest to that! (And it's really, really fun.)

Because the Dead Sea is so salty, it cannot sustain life. There are no fish or bugs anywhere around, not even those brine shrimp that seem so abundant in the Great Salt Lake. There are no macro organisms of any kind. This is why it's called the Dead Sea.

The Dead Sea is located to the east of Jerusalem. In between the two is an area known as the Judean wilderness. It is among the most barren places in the world. (I took this picture on our drive to the Dead Sea this past summer.)

Ezekiel's vision, as recorded in the first 12 verses of Chapter 47 (specifically 47:1, 6-12) goes something like this: He sees the temple in Jerusalem, with its doors facing toward the east. (This eastward facing is symbolic for other reasons, but note that this also means the doors are facing toward the Judaen wilderness and the Dead Sea.) In verse 1 he sees a river rushing out the eastward-facing door of the temple.

The results of this are astonishing. I love the imagery. Specifically parts of verse 8 (emphasis added):

These waters issue out toward the east country,
and go down into the desert, and go into the sea:
which being brought forth into the sea,
the waters shall be healed.

Amazing! What beautiful symbolism. Because of the water that is flowing from the temple, the waters of this barren sea are healed. What a beautiful choice of words!

The verses continue to talk about the multitudes of life that are brought forth as a result, including trees, and specifically the tree of life. (Although it doesn't call it that here; however, John sees something similar in vision, recorded in Revelation 22:1-3, and does refer to it as the Tree of Life.) We know from other scripture (including from Lehi's vision in the Book of Mormon) that the Tree of Life is representative of the love of God, is most desirable of all things, and will bring joy to our souls.

The symbolism of this vision is so rich. The imagery is so beautiful. Our discussion of it in Sunday School today led to many thoughtful possible interpretations of it. I believe the overarching symbolism is this:

• The water from the temple: Pure doctrine; Christ as the living water; etc.
  
• The Dead Sea/Barren Wilderness: Personal suffering; consequences of sin; etc.

In other words, the doctrines of the Gospel are healing. Specifically, the power and spirit that are available from the temple are healing. We can be healed. Everything that the Savior touches will be healed, whether it's a broken heart, a broken relationship, a broken home, or a broken society. I believe the answer to life's ills lie in the Gospel of Jesus Christ; and like the waters from the temple in Ezekiel's vision healed the barren wilderness and the Dead Sea, so can the Gospel (and especially the power available from the temple) heal us and cleanse our hearts and homes if we allow it.

Hairstyle

I'm in need of a hair cut/trim right now.

I haven't found a hair dresser yet in B'more that I like. (Of course, I haven't looked, which may be part of my problem.) Any of my local readers have any recommendations?

A few weeks ago I was on a plane flying somewhere. (California? Utah? I don't actually remember.) The woman next to me was watching CSI: Miami. I've never really been into CSI, and I couldn't hear anything, but one character caught my attention. She looked familiar, but I didn't know/couldn't remember her name. She had medium-length brown curly hair, a lot like mine. I really loved her haircut. It reminded me of a haircut I got over a year ago in Utah by my sister Sue's friend Marin. That was a great haircut! But Marin doesn't cut hair anymore. :( (And....I don't live in Utah anyway.)

So I searched and searched for pictures of this actress. I had no idea what her name was, just that she was on CSI: Miami. No luck.

Well, this weekend I solved the puzzle. Turns out the show was CSI: New York, not CSI: Miami. (Sheesh, how could I get them mixed up?) The actress is Melina Kanakaredes. I did some online searches and found some pictures, and this cut/style I particularly liked. What do you guys think of it for me?

I've never taken a picture to a hair dresser before. Would this picture be enough for someone who is good to figure out the cut and style on me? The part is in the middle, instead of my usual off-to-the-side (see below), but maybe I could pull it off? Or just have them alter the style from the picture and keep it on the side?

(In case you forgot what I look like.) These are just mac photo booth pictures of me (i.e., taken while I was procrastinating work, and hence a little bit silly). This one was not long after I got that great hair cut.

This one was about 6 months later, so it's still the great haircut, but grown out a little bit. (And hence a little less great, but still not bad. It was a good hair day.)

Opinions?

Stars are the best!

This semester I'm teaching a class at Loyola University. It's a general astronomy class for non-science majors. It's my second time teaching such a class, and the first time here in Baltimore.

We're starting to talk about stars, and I'm reminded how much I love stars! I just love them! They are the best!

Next time in class we're going to be talking about the H-R Diagram, the most important diagram in stellar astronomy. (And star clusters, which are my absolute favorite!!) To help explain it, I'm going to show a brief clip of a public talk by Jay Anderson, an astronomer here at STScI who is pretty much an astro-rock star. He talked about the HR Diagram and how we construct them. It's THE BEST explanation I've ever seen of it. And really cool animations too! I can't wait!

If you're interested in checking this video out, here's the link to the talk in the STScI public talk archives. Start at about 9:45 and go until 12:15. It's neat! (And if you're ever bored, I'd recommend watching talks in this archive. Some of them are really cool.)

Yay stars!

Sunshine in my soul

As many of you know, during my first year in Baltimore, I was severely missing the sun. My bedroom didn't have windows. My office didn't have windows. (And was in a part of STScI that we affectionately call "The Dungeon.") I really believe this lack of sun in my life affected my overall well being.

I'm happy to report, in July I moved into a new apartment and my room has two huge windows. It's glorious.

And, just as exciting, last week I moved into a new office. Check this out.

My new office is now in the Johns Hopkins Physics Astronomy building, across the street from the main STScI building. They let us use several of the offices there as overflow for ST staff. So sure, there are trade offs. Like how I have to actually get some fresh air and walk 2 extra minutes to meet my friends for lunch. But on the other hand, when I sit at my desk and look up, I see this.

So worth it.

Confession

A few weeks ago I went to Cincinnati to attend the wedding of one of my good friends, Kevin. It was a lovely weekend. I even took pictures. I swear I'm going to post them. (I also promise I'm going to post a lot of other things too. I've fallen a bit behind.)

Upon arriving in Cincinnati, I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond in an attempt to find a wedding gift for the happy couple. (They were registered there, so it made it easy.) After wandering the store for over an hour, including a 30 minute detour through a MAJOR bedding sale, I had to remind myself that I wasn't shopping for myself.

After awhile, I decided on a gift. I bought them this ridiculously cozy blanket. I loved it so much, I considered going to BBB when I got home to buy one for myself. I continued wandering through the store, and then found them something else that I thought they might like. (And more along the lines of what I'd hope to get them....something random, funny, and wholey unnecessary, but not completely useless.) I figured I'd just give them both gifts.

Long story short. I ended up giving them only one gift. I kept the blanket. That's right. I carried it all the way back to Baltimore with me. I'm kind of glad that I did because, as it turns out, I'm in love this blanket.

Sorry Kevin and Victoria. (I still love you guys.)

:)

I'm ready for some football!

Here's the thing. I don't have cable.

But I don't really watch much TV, so this doesn't pose much of a problem. Except for a small number of days a year, when it poses a BIG problem. And those days are upon us.

Fortunately, my gym has ESPN on one of the TVs in the cardio room. (Don't get me started on their poor channel selection and/or terrible/non-existent-on-most-the-machines sound hook ups.) And I have friends who have cable AND want to watch football with me. (Well, I assume I do. I still need to figure out who they are.)

Saturday afternoon, I watched most of the first half of the Texas game at the gym. Then down to DC to watch the BYU/Washington game with my good friend Rachel, who was visiting from Florida.

Monday night was the Boise State/Virginia Tech game, and I was really anticipating watching this one! My solution? I got to the gym shortly after the 8:00pm kickoff and parked myself on the elliptical right in front of the ESPN TV (and it actually had working sound connections! Score!), and pedaled during the entirety of the game. Except halftime. I took a short break to walk around, stretch, lift some weights, and get some water (a lot of water). When the game resumed, I was right back on there, pedaling and watching the game.

If I keep this up this season, I may be in the best shape ever by bowl season.

A couple things:

(a) I wear a heart rate monitor when I work out. By the end, it had recorded that my max HR was 180. (Too bad it didn't tell me WHEN that happened. Probably at the end.) I usually only achieve that when running sprints on the track. And watching heart attack inducing football, apparently. I noticed that my HR also jumped several times into the 170s during intense plays. Ha! (Makes me wonder where it would have gone had it not started already elevated.)

(b) I tried to be discrete, but sometimes I couldn't help it. Especially at the end. I had several reflexive outbursts. Fortunately, at the end when BSU scored their miracle touchdown, the cardio room was pretty empty.

(c) I'm really thankful the game didn't go into overtime. I could have kept going, but the gym closed at midnight and we were already pushing it on time. I was the last person to leave the cardio room.

(d) My feet really hurt by the end.

(e) And yet, when the game was over, I still stayed there to watch the highlight reel on Sports Center. (Which was pretty long, by the way. That game had a lot of highlights!)

(f) I'm really, really happy that Boise State won. :D

(g) I think I'm going to sleep really well tonight.

(And a picture to close: me and one of my favorite football buddies, back during our Austin days!! At a Longhorns game at DKR Memorial Stadium with Shaleen!)